Losing Grip
by air29
Summary: Callie Montary has never liked the concept of love. She believes it only will bring heart break and trouble as it has to her family. But will she learn that it also can bring happiness when she notices Paul looking her way?
1. One Look

**Inspired by the song Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne.**

**I uploaded the wrong chapter by mistake from one of my other fanfics. Sorry for any confusion, here's the right chapter!**

Kim and I used to eat lunch together every day until she started dating Jared Stone. Now I sat at the lonesome table of La Push High's cafeteria. I wasn't hungry today either or any other lunch. I don't know why but for some reason I never feel hungry around lunch time. I watched miserably as my former best friend laughed and held Jared's hand over at his table. How could she want to be with someone apart of the La Push gang?

For Pete Sake's he never noticed her before but now that he has, she went willingly with him. I never would understand love but I did know one thing, it wasn't ever going to happen to me. I wouldn't let it. It happened to my sister and she got knocked up at the age of sixteen. Now she's eighteen and her so called "love" is nowhere to be found. Randy left her as soon as he found out she got pregnant. I knew all too well that's what guys wanted from you, _sex._ I just hope that Kim doesn't get hurt in the process. I really wasn't good with tears and even if our friendship is damaged, I still didn't want to see her get hurt.

I sighed to myself and got up from my lunch table. What's the point in staying in the cafeteria if I didn't have anyone to converse with? I went into the library and got a random book. I started reading it and then got lost in my thoughts once again. I wonder if my parents would get divorced. They have been arguing quite a lot lately. My hands shut the book and I placed it onto the return cart. The bell rung loudly and I forced myself to go to my history class. The past did not amuse me at all, but unfortunately it was the only ticket out of this tiny reservation. Both my father and my mother never went to college. They got married young and produced my sister and me. Both were stuck in this town as well as my sister.

Once again love isn't enough in life. I didn't even pay attention to Mr. Hook's lesson. After school I walked home alone. When I got to my house I groaned at the sound of Isaac crying. Ugh, why did my sister have to get pregnant? It's called condoms! I threw my back pack to the floor and went into the kitchen. My parents were arguing again about money income. My mother went on about how my father wasn't making enough to support us all. I snapped my attention to her. "How about you get a job and quit depending on a man for a change?" I said angrily.

My father looked at me blankly before responding. "Don't talk to your mother like that."

"Or what, you'll ground me. Go right ahead and do that Dad. See what I care." I replied and walked straight out the back door.

"Come back here now!" He shouted at me and I just laughed to myself.

"Make me," I shouted back and took off running into the trees. They wouldn't come after me but I knew better than to take that chance. I managed to make it to my favorite clearing. Flowers bloomed around the grassy area due to the spring time. Only one more month of school left and hello summer! My feet were sore from my run and I had a hard time catching my breath, however the run was definitely worth it. I heard deep gruff voices coming from several feet in front of me. I quietly dodged behind some bushes to avoid whoever was about in the forest.

"When are you finally going to tell Kim," I heard a familiar voice ask, _Paul Woods._ He was in my grade like Kim and Jared are. We'd be seniors in the fall.  
>"Later man, things are going good between us." He replied.<p>

"Better do it soon before she flips out." Paul said.

I gulped to myself. What the hell were they hiding? Were they on drugs or something? I kept behind the bushes, destined to find out what they were talking about and what Jared was hiding from Kim.

Jared sighed. "I really care about her. I hope she doesn't freak out too bad."

Really cared about her? They started dating like two months ago! He better not try to get her into bed. I've heard plenty of rumors about Paul Woods and Jared Stone. They probably have slept with half the girls here on the reservation.

"If she does then she does. She can't fight the imprint bond for long. Kim will accept you, trust me." Paul assured his best friend.

Those two have been like peanut butter and jelly since elementary school. "What about you? Are you ever going to ask Callie out?"

"She wouldn't give me a chance even if I got down my knees and begged." Paul replied brusquely.

"You don't know that."

One, what the hell did imprint mean? Two, they were talking about _me! _Oh damn I did not want to know anymore. I better get out of here before I hear something I do not care to know. I tip toed backwards trying not to make any noise but failed as I heard a twig snap. I sucked in a deep breath and then heard footsteps approach my direction. I was about to make a run for it but freakishly tall Jared and Paul caught sight of me.

"What are you doing out here?" Paul asked curtly.

Oh isn't he a catch, "Taking a walk." I said being semi-honest to him. It wasn't a complete lie, I was running.

"How much did you hear?" Jared asked probably knowing I'd tell Kim.

"All of it," I replied truthfully. I wasn't much of a liar and never liked the concept of it. Once you tell a small lie, you just end up lying more and more.

"Don't tell her," Jared said. "I don't want Kim to worry."

"Maybe she should worry. I know you're just trying to get into her pants. You've never cared about her at all. Hell you didn't even notice her until two months ago." I snapped annoyed at him thinking he could tell me what to do. I did not take orders from others, not even from my parents.

"That's not my intention and I wish I would have noticed her sooner." He replied and I saw a brief flash of sadness in his brown eyes.

I snapped my attention to Paul. "And you're right; I'd never give you a chance. You're a complete jerk and a man whore."

Paul shook a bit but calmed down when Jared placed a hand on his shoulder. "I bet that's what you think of me. Your right, I'd never be good enough for you."

Confusion crossed my mind. Did he really believe that or was he just toying with me? Jared shot a glance to me. "You should head home."

"No thanks," I replied and kept walking. I was surprised as Paul caught hold of my arm.

"Go home Callie. It isn't safe out here," he told me sternly.

I snapped my arm out of his. "Or what, Big Foot will eat me?"

Paul sighed and took my arm gently into his. Jared chuckled as I tried to wiggle out of his iron grasp. Yup, they were definitely on steroids. "Let go!" I said annoyed as he pulled me along with him and Jared.

"No, I'm taking you home. You shouldn't be wandering out here alone. There's been plenty of bear attacks and I won't have you getting hurt." Paul replied seriously.

I sighed and just let him pull me along. It was pointless to try to get out of his grasp. Once we reached my house Paul let go of my arm. I glared at him and made my way to my house. I could feel his eyes staring at me so I snapped my head back and caught his gaze. His eyes were a dark brown almost black. I couldn't pull my light brown eyes from his. It was about a minute of starring before he broke away from the intense gawk. I moved my eyes back to the door of my porch. I climbed up the steps and wondered to myself why that one look felt so right.

**Okay so I just had to write this fanfic even if I have plenty up already! Well I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Thanks for reading and let me know what you all think.**


	2. For the Better

**I want to say thanks to the reviews I have gotten! I really think this story is going to turn out better than I thought it would. Keep me posted on what all you think and don't hesitate to mention any key mistakes. Thanks for reading!**

**~Air~**

The next day I awoke to the sun shining again through my bedroom window. Now that's surprising considering how we usually don't get sunshine two days in a row. I wanted to jump up with joy of finally getting some vitamin D, but it just so happened to be another school day. I groaned at the thought of having to deal with peers and teachers. I wasn't much of a people person but I did have some friends other than Kim. I particularly just didn't like them. They were way too girly for my taste and could be stuck up at times. I sighed and made myself get up. Hmm, Isaac wasn't crying yet. That's a surprise. Perhaps my sister got him to shut up already.

I love my nephew, but that didn't mean I desperately crave the sound of his obnoxious crying at six a.m. in the morning. I went to take a shower and enjoyed the heat of the water as it dripped down onto my tan Quileute skin. I hopped out of the shower to towel dry my body and wrapped my wavy, long, wet, brown hair into another towel. I was trying to go green by not using a blow dryer for my hair.

I changed into a pair of faded skinny jeans and a pale pink shirt. I zipped my dark green jacket and slipped my Vans on before heading to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. I figured out why Isaac hadn't been crying. He was up and about eating fruit with Jillian, my sister.

She was dressed in her employer's outfit at the Grocery store here on the reservation. She would take Isaac to the day care and my parents helped chip in for the cost of the day care. She used the money she earned to save up for college and for Isaac. My parents still wanted her to go to college even if she had a baby. I think Jillian wanted to go too, but didn't want to be away from Isaac. The reason she went with Randy is well one she loved him, two she knew he had money; three he lived in Forks and hoped he marry her to get her out of La Push. Either way we both have the same goal. We want out of this reservation; we don't like the lifestyle and want to be able to support ourselves. Sure I'm more than disappointed in how Jillian tried to achieve her goal but I wouldn't hate her for it and I would definitely not take it out on Isaac.

"Morning," Jillian chirped happily.

"Um, what's with the happy attitude?" I questioned, vaguely thinking maybe something happened at work, such as a promotion.

"I'm just happy. Can't I be in a good mood without there being a specific reason for it?" She replied getting out bowls for cereal.

"Uh sure but normally your snippy in the morning, besides when have you ever offered to make me breakfast?" I asked her seeing that she took two bowls out from the wooden cupboard.

"Yeah you're right, but really I just am in a good mood. That and I got a raise!" She said with a squeal of joy.

I had to give her a smile for her sake. That and I didn't feel like sharing my current worry of the day, seeing Paul Woods. "Really, oh my god that's great!" I gushed to Jillian. I was still angry at him for what he did the other day. He shouldn't tell me what to do. It's not like he owns me and besides even if it wasn't him I'd still be pissed. I hate how people think they can tell you what to do.

She gave me an enthusiastic smile. "I know right, god I'm so happy right now. I can't wait to get to work today!"

"So what did they promote you to?" I asked her taking a seat at the table next to Isaac. He had juice dripping down from his chin so I got a napkin to wipe it away.

"Employee of the month," She said smugly and poured milk into one of the bowls.

"Um, that's not a promotion is it?" I asked thinking that it was just an award of recognition.

"It is but they also decided to give me a raise." She beamed and handed a bowl of Pops to me. I ate it gingerly and listened to her talk about work.

"Also, I think I might have met someone." She added before taking a spoonful of cereal.

"Oh, well that's good. What's his name?" I asked her.

"Um, well it's not exactly a he per say." She said biting her lip slightly.

That's probably the only thing my sister and I have in common, well besides brown hair and brown eyes. We both tend to bite our lower lip when nervous. She's older so she's also about several inches taller than me too. "Oh, so it's a girl?"

She nodded. I was actually surprised for once. Sure I knew she slept around a lot but now that I thought of it, it kind of made sense to me. Maybe she had been gay all along but didn't realize it till now or perhaps Jillian got tired of trying to fight it. "Are you gay?" I asked her.

She giggled at that. "No. Well not really, I mean I like girls but I also like guys."

"So you're bisexual then?" I asked not at all offended if she is. She is my sister and I do love her even if her behavior drove me insane at times. For example she tends to hog the shower when I need to use it and also how she tends to be a bit reckless. I don't like reckless people, not a lot. I can tolerate them but that's pretty much it. I enjoy a balance or order in my life and being around reckless people didn't result in that.

"Yeah, but I think Amber wants commitment. I'm not exactly sure if I'm ready for another relationship after Randy. She does take my mind off things and also I have to consider how we work together. I don't really want to start a relationship with her because it might affect us in the workplace. I really like my job Callie." Jillian told me.

I smiled at that. "I'm glad things are getting better for you." I really did like how things were changing for the better, for my sister, possibly me if things got better at home due to more income. Sure it wasn't easy all the time, but even if she's had a rocky past with all the sex and dropping out high school, I kind of like this new change. If it made her happy then I was all for it. Jillian really deserves some happiness after all she's been through. I was actually surprised that she passed the GED. Maybe she's really smart but I just probably never noticed.

"Thanks Callie and I want to thank you." She said and cleared her throat. I glanced up at her, curious to what she had to say. "You've been so strong lately and I'm happy that you're my sister. I'm sorry if my problems have ever affected you in some way. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to get out of La Push and you know this. I want my son to have more than you or I ever did. I want him to get out there and see the world because there's so much more out there than La Push or Washington."

I swear I saw a tear escape down her cheek. I immediately got up and hugged her. "Hey it's okay. I mean it was hard but it's made me stronger. It made you stronger."

She just hugged me tightly to her and I felt her head nod. "Your right Callie, just stay in school and try not to let Mom and Dad ruin anything for you. They have their own problems."

That's what caught my attention. "What are you trying to say?" I asked her, knowing there was much more to this than she was letting on.

"Just don't worry. All parents fight." She said to me remaining persistent.

"Come on, don't lie to me. I may not be older than you but I can handle whatever it is Jillian." I said pulling away. I felt kind of annoyed that she was preserving whatever was going on with our parents. I didn't like how she was trying to protect me. I can protect myself damn it.

Jillian let out a deep sigh before answering. "Mom and Dad are getting a divorce."


	3. Is it enough?

Why didn't I want to ditch school today? Why was I sitting in math staring at my hands while the teacher explained a complex equation on the white board? I didn't have an answer to that, other than I didn't want to be at home; especially not after Jillian spilled the beans about my parents getting a divorce. _Okay,_ sure our family had its problems like most, but I didn't think my parents would split up. Was it because of my dad out of work? Was it because of me or my sister? I wanted to have answer to why they were going to split up. I also didn't want to know because I rather pretend that this wasn't happening. First my sister gets knocked up. Then I lose my best friend to her boyfriend and now my parents are getting a divorce.

Life officially sucks right now. God, I sound like one of those annoying teenage angst movies. I didn't realize the teacher had called on me.

"Ms. Monroe?" The teacher asked loudly.

"What?" I asked snapping out of my thoughts.

"Can you solve this equation please?" He asked with a hidden smirk on his lips.

I bet he knew I hadn't been paying attention. "No I can't."

"Weren't paying attention, were you?" He asked even though he knew I wasn't.

I felt my face get hot as everyone's attention focused on me. "No I wasn't, sorry." I replied. I even caught Paul starring. His eyes were dark and yet held some sympathy in them. _Okay,_ now why the hell would he give a shit?

The teacher turned his attention back to the board and everyone else went back to taking notes quickly. I sunk back into my seat absolutely embarrassed for getting called on and then not knowing the answer or how to solve a simple equation. If I could and not look like a crazy person, I'd hit my head against this desk out of sheer frustration. When the bell rang I hastily got up and grabbed my notebook.

In the hallway I felt myself get angry. I saw Kim with her boyfriend Jared Stone. _Seriously_, how could she just practically let him kiss her like he was, in front of everyone in the school? Their lips were pressed together and Jared had his hands on her waist as he deepened their kiss. This is a school! Not some alley to hook up in! What the hell does she think she's doing? I wanted to go over to her and smack some sense into her. Jared just wanted in her pants and I was not going to let her get hurt.

I stormed over to where they were. I cleared my throat to try and get them to pull away from one another. "Kim!" I said angrily and she detangled her arms from Jared and looked at me.

"Um hi Callie," she said in surprise, her lips gloss was all smeared and her dark curly hair ruffled from Jared's hands.

I scoffed at her casual greeting. "Kim, I thought you were smarter than this. Are you really just going to let him in that easily?"

She looked confused at what I was saying. "Callie…I-I don't know what you're talking about?"

"He does. He just wants in your pants Kim. Are you really going to let him take advantage of you?"

Her face melted into sadness. "J-Jared is that true?" She whispered.

"Kim, no it's not. I really like you." He replied to her and rubbed one of her hands in his.

"Bullshit." I said and that's when he turned his darken black eyes at me.

"Stay out of this. I care about Kim and you should be happy for her. Kim's your best friend after all."

"Exactly and I'm not going to let you use her. Everyone knows you're just a no good man whore like _your _best friend, Paul Woods." I snapped, too pissed off that he still was playing the innocent card. It was getting old pretty fast.

"Really, I guess that's what you would think. Just like your sister, always desperate for attention." He sneered with a laugh.

"Jared!" Kim said in shock to him. She snapped her hand from his. "Why would you say something so awful? Callie's just looking out for me and Callie; I can take care of myself." She snapped at the two of us. I was a bit surprised since Kim rarely ever shows her anger.

"Kimmy I'm sorry."

"Just don't Jared. And Callie I know your upset with me but don't take it out on him. Can both of you, just…ugh!" She stormed off away from us toward her paradise, _the library._ It was both our paradise actually. That's one reason Kim and I are best friends, well former best friends since she ditched me for him.

Jared punched the locker furiously and I noticed a large dent appear once he pulled his fist away from the blue metal door. He looked at me and glared. "Kim's a nice girl, not even she's the best girl I've ever met. You're not her friend; you just want to make her miserable like you." He spoke to me; no kindness in his words whatsoever.

Then, out of the blue, Paul Woods came over to intervene. "Jared, go calm down outside."

My eyes looked over at Paul. His eyes had morphed from his dark brown to a lethal black. His eyes met mine and I felt completely vulnerable. "No, he's right." I choked out and turned to walk away.

"Callie, wait," Paul said sympathetically and followed me out the back door of the school.

I didn't say anything to him but just let him tag along as I took off into the forest. I ran and he kept up to my pace. I had to stop to catch my breath and he didn't even look tired from the run. In fact, he wasn't sweating at all. I wanted to cry about everything that was happening. My heart just ached too much and it wasn't from the run.

Tears dripped down my cold cheeks and I let him pull me into a hug. He was, after all, my only comfort source at the moment. I buried my face into his gray tee shirt and cried harder than the time my pet cat Louie died. Paul just rubbed my back and whispered, "Just let it all out Callie."

I sobbed more into his chest and hugged him tightly. Somehow the pain in my chest was melting away. He gently stroked my hair and held me close to his scorching body heat. I pulled away once I finished my breakdown. Paul looked down at me and I looked up at him. "My parents are getting a divorce, I'm sorry for pissing off your friend."

He chuckled. "Nah, Jared will cool off. I'm sorry about your parents though. That has to suck."

"You have no idea." I replied in agreement. "Another reason why love is so overrated."

He gave me a weak smile. "So that's what you're afraid of."

I blushed. "Um no…I just think it's a waste of time."

He smirked at that. "Well Callie, it all depends on who you're with."

My face furrowed in confusion. "And you know this because?" I asked wondering what the hell he meant by this.

"Because everyone can find love, even _you_," He said casually and his hand reached out to touch my cheek.

I gasped but only because I was surprised at his actions. Paul's dark brown eyes met mine in an instant. His smile faded and he removed his hand from my face. "But, I on the other hand, won't find that, no matter how much I wish I could."

It made me sad, his words, and I didn't know why. "Paul, with your looks I'm sure any girl would want to be with you."

He laughed at that frenziedly. "Sure, every girl that isn't you."

I felt my face get all hot and red. "What?"

"Callie, we both know that you heard me well and clear." Paul said with a sigh and looked back down at me.

"I-I can't be with you Paul." I said truthfully. How could I ever be with him? It'd go against my foundation I had built for myself. I needed to push him away before I let my stupid heart get the best of me.

"You could be with me Callie. I could be anything for you; a brother, a friend, or even your boyfriend."

The look in his eyes indicated he wasn't bull shitting me. "Okay Paul, just one shot. But I'm not having sex with you, so just keep your manhood in your pants."

His eyes got all wide, like if I told him he just won a trip to Europe. "Callie, you really give me a chance?"

"I guess so; just don't try anything funny with me. I have goals that I plan to keep." I answered having my arms crossed over my chest.

"Okay Callie, I can do that. Um, so do you want to go out on a date with me? We can go anywhere you want."

"Just a movie, but nothing fancy alright?" I replied skeptically, thinking he might try to go all out on me and purchase ridiculously expensive reservations at some high-class a restaurant.

He just beamed and said, "Okay madam, anything you like."

"No corny stuff either." I said with a sigh, "and don't get your hopes up about this."

It was like he didn't mind if I ever decided to go back on the date, "As you wish."

"Okay, I am not a princess." I replied annoyed now. "Treat me like a normal person."

"Callie, you exceed normalcy."

"Oh, so you have a vocabulary now, aren't you full of surprises." I snapped still a bit irritated.

"I do have one. I also like to read." He told me. "But if you tell anyone this, I will just deny it."

"Enough Casa Nova, let's get back to school before anyone notices us missing."

With that he just took my hand and led me back to school. _Oh great,_ what have I gotten myself into?

**Sorry I haven't updated in while, school's been a drag. I want to thank all of you have reviewed, thanks and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**~Air~**


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